Advance Care Planning: A Loving Conversation About What Matters Most
Most of us don’t like to think about becoming seriously ill or dying. It’s uncomfortable, even frightening. But something powerful happens when we take the time to talk about what matters most to us - before we reach a point where we can't.
That’s where Advance Care Planning comes in.
Advance Care Planning (ACP) is the process of thinking about and sharing your preferences for the care you’d want if you were ever unable to speak for yourself. It might include medical treatments you would or wouldn’t want, the kind of environment you’d like to be in, and who you’d trust to make decisions on your behalf.
And here’s the thing - ACP is not just about dying. It’s about living well, on your terms.
So, what does Advance Care Planning actually involve?
Reflecting on your values, beliefs, and what quality of life means to you
Discussing these wishes with your loved ones and healthcare providers
Documenting your choices in an Advance Care Directive (or similar legal document, depending on your state or territory)
Appointing a trusted person as your substitute decision-maker or enduring guardian
These conversations can feel daunting. They bring up complex questions:
Would I want life-prolonging treatment if there’s little chance of recovery?
What does comfort mean to me?
Who do I want by my side?
They’re not always easy - but they are deeply meaningful. Having these conversations now means your loved ones won’t have to guess what you’d want later. It can relieve anxiety, prevent conflict, and ensure you are cared for in a way that feels right for you.
A Family Process, or One-on-One Support
Advance Care Planning can absolutely be a family process. Sitting around the table, sharing stories and values, listening to each other - it can bring families closer. It can also be confronting. Emotions may arise. Priorities may differ.
That’s where an End-of-Life Doula can help.
As a neutral, compassionate presence, I support individuals and families through these conversations. I help guide the discussion, hold space for complex emotions, and gently clarify what matters most. Sometimes, just having someone there to ask the hard questions with kindness makes all the difference.
Start Sooner Than You Think
You don’t have to wait until you’re elderly or unwell to start planning. In fact, the best time to begin is now - when you’re clear-headed, well, and able to make informed decisions.
Advance Care Planning is one of the most generous and empowering gifts you can offer your loved ones. It says: I care enough about you to make this easier.
Let’s talk about what matters - before it matters.
